I can tell you right now, I think I would be insane (literally) without my support system. My husband, Jeremy, god bless him. He drives me insane on some days, but most days he actually keeps my feet on the ground. He helps me out with Greyson after work, he helps me cook dinner, he makes sure I get a shower (because oddly enough, you need them a couple times a week, even with a baby!). I can’t even tell you how much he helps me out & how much we’ve grown since becoming parents.
I think that when you initially find out you’re pregnant, there’s both a closeness and a distance that occurs in a relationship. I was distant because I was slowly falling in love with another human that was growing inside me, but we were growing together with all kinds of emotions of our impending arrival. We were both nervous, anxious, excited, a ball of emotions ready to explode with each day getting closer & closer to D-Day. When I was almost at my due date, I remember I cried to my husband when he stayed late at work, or he didn’t want to cuddle. I think I had more anxiety over our changing relationship than delivering a baby. I felt so scared of how our relationship would be after having a baby. If we would have time for each other, if we would resent each other, if we would even take time to talk to each other. After my induction (which will be a whole other post), we didn’t fight, we didn’t resent, we took as much time for each other as we could.
Honestly, the thing that has changed the most in our relationship: communication.
When you have a baby, you need to communicate. You can’t just leave to go to the store or walk out of the room without saying what you did, what you’re about to do, etc. We had to tell each other what happened during the day and keep each other actively in the loop. I thought we were good communicators before my pregnancy, but after having a baby, I can tell you we have grown so much together. We worked through our fears and anxieties about our baby.
Communication is key.
Another thing, I couldn’t be where I’m at without my parents, they have helped me so much.
My pregnancy was very unexpected (as stated before), and I was due March 22nd, during the middle of my last semester of college. So, graduation was put on hold. I actually am returning next Monday to start my Fall Semester, when I’ll graduate in January of 2016! My parents have helped me so much with the baby, since my husband works full-time. I had to take a summer class in order to graduate after my fall semester, which meant 4 days a week for 5 weeks of class. I was not happy, but I wanted to get it done to graduate (with a b.a. in psychology & a b.s. in neuroscience).
I highly suggest that during your pregnancy and when you’re a new mom, you lean on your support system. These are crazy times in your life, that you think you can handle on your own, and while you can, it’s so much better with others. My mom would take the baby long enough for me to get a shower during the day, which let me relax after a night of getting up to nurse, putting the baby back to sleep, repeat. Plus, she got some grandson cuddles. She was definitely a big supporter during my pregnancy as well, when we had a bad winter, my husband still had to work, so she would drive me to my doctor’s appointments, so I wouldn’t be alone & I didn’t have to drive myself in bad weather. Even at the end, she offered to drive me because I was getting huge & uncomfortable and overdue. We bonded over pregnancy memories for her & I love seeing her with my son. When you have those nights that you just need a nap, lean on your support. We may be supermoms, but even a supermom deserves a shower, a meal, and a nap.
Who do you lean on for support and how did your relationship change with your pregnancy/newborn?
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